Empty Me

Wow... I started writing, and then became so busy with Thanksgiving, school, babies, Christmas, birthday, etc. that I haven't been back...  and oh how satan would just love that.  I don't think so.  Things are settling down a bit, and I am anticipating the New Year with some "resolutions".  We'll see how long they last!

My sweet baby boy turns four today, and as I wished him Happy Birthday this morning, scooping him up into my arms so I could love on him, he said, "Mama, but I'll always be yours and Daddy's baby."  Oh, how he just doesn't know how true that is!  He will be.  He will be my baby when he starts Kindergarten.  He will be my baby when he attends his first school dance.  He will be my baby when he goes on his first trip without us.  He will be my baby when he becomes a teenager and wants nothing to do with me.  He will be my baby when he has his first girlfriend (even though she will think he is hers).  He will be my baby when he goes to high school and starts to drive.  He will be my baby when he goes to college (Auburn. Of course.).  He will be my baby when he finds the one, and meets her at the end of the aisle.  He will always be my baby.  In times of joy, sorrow, happiness, pain, success, and frustration, he will continue to be my baby. 

But as I thought of these things this morning, as on many occasions when I am just soaking him in, I am reminded of why I believe God gives us children.  For it is in these precious moments of parenthood that we experience and discover just a glimpse of God's amazing love for us.  We are His babies.  I look at my sweet babies, and can't imagine loving anything more, but God does.  He loves us more.  The thought of losing one of my children or seeing them go through something difficult paralyzes me... and God experiences that with us... even when we are uninterested in Him.  Looking at my sweet baby, knowing how much I love him, gives me just a glimpse of how much I don't comprehend God's love for me. 

But I want to.

So I press on in the Word... in my quiet times...  in my praise and worship... so that I may experience Him and His omnipotent love.

"Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”  Hosea 6:3

In the past year, God has convicted me on numerous occasions of pride and selfishness.  It is something I must lay down before Him daily.  It became my prayer back in the spring for Him to do a good work in me... to "empty me" of myself and fill me with "Him."  It hasn't been exactly easy, but I have felt His hands all over me, pruning away that which does not bear fruit, and watering that which does.  I am so thankful for His enduring love, a love that I cannot comprehend, but one that He gives me a glimpse of through my children and my love for them.  

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you."  John 15:1-3.

My New Year's Resolution, and my prayer for 2010 and years to come...

"Holy Fire burn away,
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me.
I want more of you and less of me.
Holy Fire burn away
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me,
I want more of you and less of me, yeah.

Empty me,
Empty me, yeah,
Fill, won't you fill me,
with you, with you, yeah.
Holy Fire, burn away,
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me.

I want more of you and less of me, yeah.
Empty me,
Empty me, yeah.
Fill, won't you fill me, with you, with you, empty me now.
Well won't you empty me, well won't you empty me now. repeat x2
I want more, I want more, I want more of you, Jesus.
I want more, I want more, oh.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus, oh yeah,
Thank you, Jesus, yeah.
Holy Fire, Holy Fire, Holy Fire, Holy Fire."
-Jeremy Camp