Wow... I started writing, and then became so busy with Thanksgiving, school, babies, Christmas, birthday, etc. that I haven't been back... and oh how satan would just love that. I don't think so. Things are settling down a bit, and I am anticipating the New Year with some "resolutions". We'll see how long they last!
My sweet baby boy turns four today, and as I wished him Happy Birthday this morning, scooping him up into my arms so I could love on him, he said, "Mama, but I'll always be yours and Daddy's baby." Oh, how he just doesn't know how true that is! He will be. He will be my baby when he starts Kindergarten. He will be my baby when he attends his first school dance. He will be my baby when he goes on his first trip without us. He will be my baby when he becomes a teenager and wants nothing to do with me. He will be my baby when he has his first girlfriend (even though she will think he is hers). He will be my baby when he goes to high school and starts to drive. He will be my baby when he goes to college (Auburn. Of course.). He will be my baby when he finds the one, and meets her at the end of the aisle. He will always be my baby. In times of joy, sorrow, happiness, pain, success, and frustration, he will continue to be my baby.
But as I thought of these things this morning, as on many occasions when I am just soaking him in, I am reminded of why I believe God gives us children. For it is in these precious moments of parenthood that we experience and discover just a glimpse of God's amazing love for us. We are His babies. I look at my sweet babies, and can't imagine loving anything more, but God does. He loves us more. The thought of losing one of my children or seeing them go through something difficult paralyzes me... and God experiences that with us... even when we are uninterested in Him. Looking at my sweet baby, knowing how much I love him, gives me just a glimpse of how much I don't comprehend God's love for me.
But I want to.
So I press on in the Word... in my quiet times... in my praise and worship... so that I may experience Him and His omnipotent love.
"Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.” Hosea 6:3
In the past year, God has convicted me on numerous occasions of pride and selfishness. It is something I must lay down before Him daily. It became my prayer back in the spring for Him to do a good work in me... to "empty me" of myself and fill me with "Him." It hasn't been exactly easy, but I have felt His hands all over me, pruning away that which does not bear fruit, and watering that which does. I am so thankful for His enduring love, a love that I cannot comprehend, but one that He gives me a glimpse of through my children and my love for them.
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you." John 15:1-3.
My New Year's Resolution, and my prayer for 2010 and years to come...
"Holy Fire burn away,
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me.
I want more of you and less of me.
Holy Fire burn away
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me,
I want more of you and less of me, yeah.
Empty me,
Empty me, yeah,
Fill, won't you fill me,
with you, with you, yeah.
Holy Fire, burn away,
my desire for anything
that is not of you and is of me.
I want more of you and less of me, yeah.
Empty me,
Empty me, yeah.
Fill, won't you fill me, with you, with you, empty me now.
Well won't you empty me, well won't you empty me now. repeat x2
I want more, I want more, I want more of you, Jesus.
I want more, I want more, oh.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus, oh yeah,
Thank you, Jesus, yeah.
Holy Fire, Holy Fire, Holy Fire, Holy Fire."
-Jeremy Camp
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
What are you thirsty for?
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:22-24
I am thirsty for the Lord. At least... I think I am. I say I am. I hope I am. But do my choices show that? Do my desires reflect that? Do I have a heart for the Lord like David did? A faith like Moses? A dedication like Abraham? Or am I more like Saul? Reluctant to step up for my faith. Or Solomon? Wanting, but coming up short? These are questions that I have struggled with as I go through a season of digging deep into the Word, growing in my faith, and searching out Truth. As I have looked deep within, I come up asking myself, "Whose Kool-Aid are you drinking?"
In my readings of the Old Testament these days, I am astonished at how quickly these rulers start out on the right track, and then quickly get detoured into sinful acts, idol worship, and lustful desires. I almost want to get mad at them... tell them how weak they are... Question their hearts... Give them a piece of my mind. And then I realize we are just like them... getting so caught up in the things of this world. Temporary things. Oh, how I can identify with Solomon... He started off so well. He asked the Lord for wisdom and discernment, and the Lord obliged. Oh, how we too should seek Him before we jump into our endeavors. But do we? Really?
"Now, O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
"The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life." I Kings 3:7-14.
God is so good. He wants to show us the way. He wants to guide us in our decisions, big and small. All we need to do is ask. He awaits.
God called Solomon to build the temple. And Solomon did. He completed it in 7 years.
"In the eleventh year in the month of Bul, the eighth month, the temple was finished in all its details according to its specifications. He had spent seven years building it." I Kings 6:38
"It took Solomon thirteen years, however, to complete the construction of his palace." I Kings 7:1
God then granted Solomon the means to build himself a palace. This took 13 years. Um... yeah. 7 years for God, 13 for himself. I'm starting to see Solomon's priorities shift. In fact, they are starting to look familiar... I think I can identify...How much of ourselves do we give to God, and how much do we save for ourselves?
In all of the blessings Solomon received as a result of seeking God and living faithfully, Solomon lost himself somewhere. He became powerful, wealthy, full of great wisdom, insightful, and strong. With that came much attention and adoration from others. Somewhere in there, his pride got the best of him. He went from humble to proud, conceited, pompous, and arrogant. He lost sight of the Lord, his priorities, and his purpose. He gave in to sinful acts, idols, and lust.
"The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the LORD's command. So the LORD said to Solomon, "Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen." I Kings 11:9-12.
As a result, Solomon suffered consequences. Not only did Solomon suffer consequences... His son suffered as well. Oh how easy it is to get caught up in the things of this world... the things that are not eternal. But God is eternal. He has a place for us if we will seek Him in all our ways. He wants to be a part of our lives, if we will simply allow Him to enter in.
Like the kings of the Old Testament, we too submit to idols... the things that take up space in our thoughts and in our day that should be where God is. We all have our own "palace" of some sort that we are building... How much time do we spend on it? Is there any time left for God? What propaganda is our world selling to us right now? Who are we listening to? Is it Godly? Are we seeking Him? He has something for us. It's huge. It's life changing. It's eternal.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
Whose kool-aid are you drinking?
therefore I will wait for him."
Lamentations 3:22-24
I am thirsty for the Lord. At least... I think I am. I say I am. I hope I am. But do my choices show that? Do my desires reflect that? Do I have a heart for the Lord like David did? A faith like Moses? A dedication like Abraham? Or am I more like Saul? Reluctant to step up for my faith. Or Solomon? Wanting, but coming up short? These are questions that I have struggled with as I go through a season of digging deep into the Word, growing in my faith, and searching out Truth. As I have looked deep within, I come up asking myself, "Whose Kool-Aid are you drinking?"
In my readings of the Old Testament these days, I am astonished at how quickly these rulers start out on the right track, and then quickly get detoured into sinful acts, idol worship, and lustful desires. I almost want to get mad at them... tell them how weak they are... Question their hearts... Give them a piece of my mind. And then I realize we are just like them... getting so caught up in the things of this world. Temporary things. Oh, how I can identify with Solomon... He started off so well. He asked the Lord for wisdom and discernment, and the Lord obliged. Oh, how we too should seek Him before we jump into our endeavors. But do we? Really?
"Now, O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?"
"The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life." I Kings 3:7-14.
God is so good. He wants to show us the way. He wants to guide us in our decisions, big and small. All we need to do is ask. He awaits.
God called Solomon to build the temple. And Solomon did. He completed it in 7 years.
"In the eleventh year in the month of Bul, the eighth month, the temple was finished in all its details according to its specifications. He had spent seven years building it." I Kings 6:38
"It took Solomon thirteen years, however, to complete the construction of his palace." I Kings 7:1
God then granted Solomon the means to build himself a palace. This took 13 years. Um... yeah. 7 years for God, 13 for himself. I'm starting to see Solomon's priorities shift. In fact, they are starting to look familiar... I think I can identify...How much of ourselves do we give to God, and how much do we save for ourselves?
In all of the blessings Solomon received as a result of seeking God and living faithfully, Solomon lost himself somewhere. He became powerful, wealthy, full of great wisdom, insightful, and strong. With that came much attention and adoration from others. Somewhere in there, his pride got the best of him. He went from humble to proud, conceited, pompous, and arrogant. He lost sight of the Lord, his priorities, and his purpose. He gave in to sinful acts, idols, and lust.
"The LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the LORD's command. So the LORD said to Solomon, "Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen." I Kings 11:9-12.
As a result, Solomon suffered consequences. Not only did Solomon suffer consequences... His son suffered as well. Oh how easy it is to get caught up in the things of this world... the things that are not eternal. But God is eternal. He has a place for us if we will seek Him in all our ways. He wants to be a part of our lives, if we will simply allow Him to enter in.
Like the kings of the Old Testament, we too submit to idols... the things that take up space in our thoughts and in our day that should be where God is. We all have our own "palace" of some sort that we are building... How much time do we spend on it? Is there any time left for God? What propaganda is our world selling to us right now? Who are we listening to? Is it Godly? Are we seeking Him? He has something for us. It's huge. It's life changing. It's eternal.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
Whose kool-aid are you drinking?
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